Cross-cultural communication （94）　

94) The Use of Sir and Ma'am
Yes, sir. and Yes, ma'am. have traditionally been used as responses to superiors and older people, respectively, while the former is used in response to male superiors and the latter is used in response to female. However, these days, these responses are only used in everyday situations in the military, especially in the United States. In the workplace, you might use “Sir” or “Ma'am” on your first day, but almost without exception, your boss will ask you to call them by their first name. I said “these days”, but even when I was a resident doctor 40 years ago at a hospital in Brooklyn, I called the department head by their first name. Of course, I called the professor, who was much older than me, by their family name, “Dr. ...”. So at the time, I myself also thought that there was absolutely no need to add “sir” or “ma'am” in the United States. One day, the tires on my car, which I had just replaced, were stolen from the car I had parked in the parking lot (this is not an uncommon thing in Brooklyn), so I went to the police station to report it. A big white policeman responded to me. The policeman asked me questions and I answered with yes or no, but the policeman's mood seemed to get grumpier and grumpier by the minute. When I looked around and listened carefully, I realized that all the responses they were giving the policeman were either yes or no with sir. I realized that I had to add “sir” to my responses if I didn't want to offend this type of professional. As soon as I added “sir” to my yes and no responses, the policeman's mood immediately improved. After that, I also learned that calling a policeman “police” is strictly prohibited, and that the correct term is “officer”. After this experience, I learned the wisdom of the world that it is safer to use this old-fashioned honorific speech when addressing uniformed people, including policemen, not only in the United States, but also in France, where I spent two and a half years, and in other Western countries that I visited on trips.

In the summer of 2019, my third son was to get married in Hawaii, and my eldest and second sons were to attend the wedding. After the wedding, we each went off to enjoy sightseeing in Hawaii on our own, but my second son, who was still single, ended up going with my wife and me. At the time, he was a resident doctor in Japan, but he loved traveling and had also experienced overseas travel since becoming a doctor, and he had also started to show an interest in English, which he had not shown an interest in when he was a student, out of necessity for traveling. So, I decided to leave it to him to deal with all the Americans who didn't understand Japanese during our trip to Hawaii with my second son. It was a kind of English cram school where I would correct his responses immediately after each one. Of course, when addressing uniformed people such as airport security guards, he would say “Excuse me, sir” or “ma'm”. This was to give him a real-life experience of how to respond to people before and after the lesson. It was a bit of a surprise to see how quickly and politely the uniformed people responded when he added just one word. Of course, this is just a matter of convenience, and I also made sure to tell him that there was no need to be servile by speaking in this way. I hope that this will be the catalyst for my second son to continue to develop an interest in English. I hope that everyone will keep this in mind as a piece of wisdom for living abroad.

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